virus

As a nurse, and a doctor wife, I try to be respectful of doctors and their offices. I show up to my appointments on time, I call in advance to cancel and I believe I am polite and helpful when I am trapped there for 45 minutes. But truth be told, I dont like pediatricians. I am a pediatric (and adult) nurse and I cant stand pediatricians! I feel that they tell you the same thing time and time again. Why am I paying you to say "he looks fine. no problems." Not that I want to hear my kid has a problem, but what about when I bring my kids when they are sick? I'm seen as another paranoid mom and am told "it's just a virus" how many friggin virus' are there? Or when I call the answering service and explain to the on call doctor who calls me back that I  am a nurse and my 2 year old is wheezing and retracting and has a fast respiratory rate and ask for them to call in a nebulizer machine and some albuterol to walgreens and am told "go to the er". Ok, ya, I'll go to the er and sit for 4 hours watching my child struggle to breath because you are too lazy to call in a stupid neb machine. Thank goodness I'm married to a doctor who has the almighty power in the form of a DEA number to call in anything we need. I'm not doctor bashing. Just pediatrician bashing. I feel like they really dont know what's going on and it's easy to say "its a virus" and send you on your merry way. I understand they go through alot of training, and I will continue to be nice and polite, but on the inside, I still dont like them.

A Few Dominican Memories

I lived in the Caribbean on an island named Dominica (NOT the Dominican Republic!) for 16 interesting months. I went there with Anthony who attended the first portion of medical school there. We got married and went on a honeymoon to the Bahamas, then some may say we went on an extended honeymoon to Dominica. I wouldnt really call it paradise, more 3rd world country-ish. I met some fabulous people on that island. We were all there supporting our husbands, working at a bookstore, which sold way more than books, and we found interesting ways to spend our time. Here are some of my favorite memories from that island.
1. The van ride from the airport all the way to Portsmouth (the city where the school is). We had gotten off of our little jumper plan that landed through a sea of trees and I swear my life flashed before my eyes. We collected our bags (which were tossed in the middle of a small white room and we were left to sift through them ourselves.) We then went through "customs" which was an islander forcing us to open our bags and then he would take out whatever looked interesting to him and bring it back to his family or try to sell to other islanders. The wives figured out that if you spread a sea of tampons on top of your clothing and other items you were sneaking on the island, they would leave your stuff alone. Anyway, back to the ride. We loaded into the "taxis" which were small mini vans and then we had 2nd semester students encouraging us to take anti-nausea medication for the 45 minute ride into the town. What a welcome to the island!!
2. The random power outages. So the islanders found it to be immensley entertaining to turn off our power for hours on end, especially when the students had an exam the following day. Stuck on an island/rainforest with temperatures exceeding 90 degrees + wretched humidity does not bode for a good night sleep.
3. The mud beaches. On our "resort island" we had these fabulous "beaches made of rock type mud. The water resembled a dirty lake rather than the warm carribean sea. There were also "no see ums" that would attack your legs and leave these attractive looking bites that would turn to bloody scabs, fall off then you would have scars. It was GREAT!
4. The monsoons. Rainy season would last about 6 months on the island. An umbrella was a useless defense against the sky's rage against us poor helpless wives/students. I remember my in laws came to visit a few weeks after we had moved down there and they were exposed to this relentless rain. My mom in law said she wasnt dry for the 6 days she spent there.
5. The Laundry. Our laundry mat was located up this enourmous hill. Imagine carrying a 40 pound bag of clothing in 100 degree heat/humidity up this big hill with islanders standing with machetes staring at you while you tried to keep yourself from screaming in pain and frustration. Then to drop your clothes off with complete strangers who would pretty much destroy your clothes once you dropped them off to them. This is why I would insist on sitting there for the afternoon to do my own laundry.
6. The Bookstore. This was more than just your average bookstore. This was a 7-11, Starbucks, bookstore, and drama central all in one. What do you expect when you have bored housewives, one househusband and a bunch of restless stressed out medical students? You get drama and lots of it. It was highly entertaining to us who worked there to enforce these ridiculous rules such as absolutely no returns on books, and if you do try to return a book, you will only get 75% back rather than the full amount. Also, no free bagel if you accidentally burn yours on our warped toaster. Why were we such bitches?? Because we could be and it was oh so much fun.

i'm sure i'm forgetting a whole bunch more and purposely leaving out some activites that were engaged in to preserve my image. But EVERYTHING was legal in Dominica, so it wasnt bad, right?

Parent Day Out aka school

Yesterday was Anthony's first day at Parents Day Out at a local church. We prepped him a few days before hand telling him he was going to "school" and he would need to share and play with all the kids, not just cousin Brooklyn who is also in the class. From the minute he woke up, he was asking if it was time to go to "tool" yet. I would give him little deadlines, like, after we change your diaper, after you eat your pancakes, etc. He was in high gear for all these little tasks, something he never does on a normal day. He usually spends 45 minutes tasting each delicate morsel of his pancakes and yesterday it took maybe 2 1/2 minutes to wolf them all down. After his jobs were done, we loaded Jack in the car and did a mini photo shoot outside our house. At "school" we waited in the parking lot for both grandma's and two aunts and one cousin to show up. We took more pictures until we were told "dat'th nufff momma" by the prince. He practically ran into the building, we signed in, and he tried to go in the 5 classrooms before we made it to his. He threw his backpack off and ran in the class. No goodbye, no tears, didnt even notice I left. I am so proud of him. I never wanted a kid who was so clingy and never wanted to try new things. (Although I did get one and his name is Jack aka the beast). The day went smoothly for Anthony, not quite as much for Jack and I. Jack decided he didnt like the idea of PDO so he refused to take a nap at all yesterday, but he chose to be pleasant, so I suppose it's a trade off. I am starting to seriously rethink my homeschooling decision when I saw how happy he was to be with other kids and teachers. I'm counting the days till next Friday..maybe I'll be more productive if Jack will let me.

Glad Last Week is the Past..

Why is it...
Sunday: I come down with an awful sore throat, body aches, headache, feeling misereable to the point of calling in sick to work;
 Monday: feel a little better, but now Jack is coming down with a green nose and feeling miserable and I decide that would be a good time to take a pregnancy test since I'm two days late on the only period I've had since December 2007, find out I am indeed pregnant (AGAIN)
Tuesday: Jack still sick, Anthony beginning to get rowdy
Wednesday: husband leaves to go to Philedelphia on a 4 day wedding event extravaganza, who is still in shock at this point that he is going to be a father of 3
 Wednesday night, get only 2 hours of sleep, thank you Jack with an awful cold, and thank you Anthony for night terrors,
Thursday: working til midnight on only 2 hours of sleep feeling like crap and in complete shock that when you choose not to use protection, a baby is what follows (at least that's what has happened the past 3 times in my case)
 Friday: calling in sick again because Jack is acting like he is on deaths door and at this point, I think my work is getting a bit tired of me calling in sick
 Saturday: Anthony comes home to an incredibly exhausted and crabby wife, a sick 11 month old and a 2 year old with a dry hacking cough resulting in poor sleep for us both while Anthony coughed and cried his way through the night
Sunday: Jack feeling a bit better, Anthony almost taken to ER because of his swine flu ( which I have diagnosed that is what he has). Sunday night...both boys rest peacefully and I get 5 hours in a row. AHHHHH
Now maybe this week I can try to get excited about the new little person I am growing in my uterus, start pretending that it will be a girl when I know good and well that it is a boy, and maybe I can appreciate that this is the first time in the 3 pregnancies I have had that I am not sick!
Please God, dont let this week be as bad as last. I think my patience has been used up until October.

Top Ten of Jack

1. Can scream louder and longer than anyone
2. Has the biggest, heart melting smile
3. Speed craws
4. Loves his manhood, literally.
5. Eats everything in sight, but still only is in the 5th percentile

6. Fussiest. Kid. Ever.

7. Loves to grab, bite, and wrestle
8. Afraid of Kota the Tricerotops
9. Enjoys long walks in his jeep stroller while pulling his brothers hair
10. Cuddles like no one else

Top Ten of Anthony (4)

1. Insists on creating a baracade around himself while he poops in his diaper.
2. Has an incredibly strong lisp that would put biggy smalls to shame
3. Has more energy than a crack head on crack
4. Would eat cay-cakes for every meal if he was allowed
5. Will always eat dessert no matter what he has eaten, if he is throwing up, or close to passing out
6. Has the most pinchable/biteable cheeks I have ever seen
7. Is the sweetest, most compassionate two year old I have ever encountered

8. Loves television

9. Would ride Lola like a horse if given the chance

10. Loves being outside playing in dirt and feeding bugs

Doctors Know More Than You Do.

Why is our society turning so anti-physician? Ever since google came around people think they can march into their doctors office, tell them what they have, then demand the type of treatment they expect, because "google found them this site" When did google start issuing medical licenses? Furthermore, it irritates me and frustrates me to no end that people disrespect doctors so frequently because they think they "know better". I am a registered nurse. In nursing school we are brainwashed into questioning doctors orders, instructed that we have a better bedside manner, that doctors really are the peons of the medical community, no better than the person who delivers your food tray. I despise seeing the new grad nurses roll their eyes when a doctor asks them to place a patient on a bedpan after assessing them, or nurses who see a doctor orders Norco instead of Dilaudid and acts as if the doctor is not compassionate and that they know better. And believe me, until I married the most wonderful man on the planet and suffered through each day of medical school and residency with him, I was one of those nurses. I was the first one who would get an attitude if a doctor took my chair at the nurses station. How dare he! Who does he think he is!! My eyes are wide open to the education a physician receives and to how difficult a residency is, and how expensive it is to aquire this vast amount of knowledge. I love how a nurse practicioner (a glorified nurse who can write orders and prescriptions) where I work complains to no end about all doctors and how they are "stupid" and "morons" and a doctor had the nerve to tell her "Hey, I've been a doctor on my own for four years" and she thought she had him beat by saying "I've been a nurse for 30, so what" Ya, the so what is you still dont know as much as him! You still dont know the science behind what he believes, based on his grueling training, the countless hours spent studying, and the hazing rituals performed by nurses themselves during a residency. I just laugh now, but occasionally I will read something that belittles a physician, by people who have no idea how difficult this profession is, and it sets me off. Respect your doctor, and nurses, know your place.
**addendum** this in no way refers to nurse midwives who i value and respect as part of the medical community. and my sister is one :)

The Guy House

An incentive for Anthony to poop on the potty has been a "guy house" which is actually a little people barn with animals and a farmer. He LOVES little people. He plays with them all day, talking to himself and making up names and different voices for them, which is very entertaining. Every day, I would ask him if he was going to poop on the potty and then get the guy house. He would always say "Yeth (yes). Poo Poo on potty. Tee Tee (which is how he says Anthony) big boya (boy)" Then I would ask, what do you get if you poo poo on the potty? And he would respond "getta (get) the guy houth (house)" So that would be a morning conversation. Then he would proceed to do the "poo poo dance" and I would say "lets go on the potty" He would then proceed to scream bloody murder and tell me no. I never like forcing the issue, but Anthony is one stubborn little boy and I think he would just poop his pants until he was 12 if we didnt push him to do something. So yesterday, I wasnt taking no for an answer. I made him sit on his little boy potty (him crying and kicking) gave him a sucker, closed the door, and told him to call me when he was finished. A couple minutes later I heard a gasp, and an excited yell. I went into the bathroom and Anthony was proudly showing me a puddle of pee (which was on the floor..I suppose I should work on his aim) and a small little terd about the size of a pea. He was very proud of himself, tell me how he pooped on the potty and we needed to go to "touwget" (target) to get the guy houth. Now, this wasnt exactly the poop I wanted to see on the potty. I wanted one of the enourmous ones he does in his diapers and runs around carefree in like he likes smooshing around in his stool. But, a promise is a promise. The 4 of us went to target, got the guy house, ate some lunch while playing with the guy house. And wouldnt you know it, before his nap, he pooped his diaper again. One of the most disgusting poops known to man. A smell that festered in our house for about 3 hours. But in his mind, he did poop on the potty, so he got his prize. (p.s. that is not anthony in the picture :) )

home again home again jiggity jig

Anthony and I had alot of fun in Madison. The hospital put us up in this really nice hotel with everything paid for. Everything we did on Thursday and Friday was on them. I told Anthony he needs to interview everywhere because a girl could get used to that kind of treatment! On Thursday we drove through Janesville (another potention job site) and saw alot of neighborhoods with a realtor. I also saw the clinic where he would be working, if he accepted. It's a very country town with lots of trees (and bugs) but the houses are super cheap and you get alot of land. Everyone rides bikes there. I think I should relearn how to ride one otherwise my boys and I will be very bored. We then drove up to Madison and went out on State Street which is filled with different bars and every kind of restaurant imaginable. We hung out on the UW campus in the student union which is actually a restaurant and bar. They serve alcohol on campus. Crazy...if I had gone to school there I would have got nothing done!! We ate dinner at a steak place called the Tornado Room which was pretty good. I'm a sucker for lamp chops. On Friday Anthony left for his 8 hour interview and I sat alone for 5 hours in peace and quiet which was very unusual for me. I didnt know what to do with myself! I then went with a realtor all around Madison for 4 1/2 hours and looked at about 10 different houses. It was so much fun looking at all these nice places. I finally am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We then ate dinner with a group of doctors which was fun, then Anthony and I drove home to get the boys..who I missed like crazy!!! We dont know if Madison will offer him the position, it seemed that they liked him though. We need to let Janesville know by this week if we will be signing with them. We'll see what God has planned since He is in control and knows what's going on. At least somebody does...

Madison

Anthony and I are leaving for Madison, WI on Thursday afternoon and coming back Friday night. This will be the first time I leave both boys with my mom and MIL and I'm a bit hesitant to do it. I know they will be fine, and I know that both parents are responsible and love the kids to death, but I still keep thinking that I'm going to back out. We are going up there because Anthony has another job interview for a position with a doctors practice there. He already had one in Janesville, WI which is about an hour and a half away from where we are now. They actually made him an offer which is very exciting for us to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are pretty sure we will take the position in Janesville, but want to interview other places as well to see what they are all about. The group that's interviewing him requested that I come with so I can get familiar with the city and look at houses, which should be interesting. We have tried to find positions here but nothing is really turning up. Plus the pay in Wisconsin is much better, cost of living is lower, and malpractice insurance is nothing compared to what it is in Illinois. I am not looking forward to moving away from my family, since both sets and siblings are all within 10 minutes of us, but you do what you have to I guess. Will update on job positions and our final decision as we figure things out.

Apologists

Why is saying two words difficult for so many people? An apology is the worst thing to many people. It requires an aknowledgment that ones actions were incorrect. It's a sign of imperfection. But what if one did not mean to offend or their words were interpreted in a way that the person did not mean? Are they responsible to apologize? Or is it the person who became offended to blame? If a child accidentally bumps another child or spills a drink on another childs lap, is that child not required to extend an apology to the one they affected? They did not mean to disturb the other person, but an apology takes a responsibility for their actions whether intentional or accidental. Its a , "hey, whoops, my bad. i'm sorry, i didnt mean to hit you or spill a drink on you " If this is what we teach our children, why then, is it not carried into our adult lives? We carry it to an extent. If we bump into a person on the street, do we apologize? Or do we say, " I'm sorry you ran into me. Be more careful next time" Obviously, we say, " Pardon me, excuse me, or I'm sorry" What if, one did not mean to offend, but the one who was offended expressed displeasure by the action and asked for an apology? Do they deserve one? Or do they need to get over the incident sans apology? I'm not speaking of holding grudges. That is another topic alltogether for a different blog and a different time. From my biblical experience, we are not required to forgive if one has not asked for forgiveness. We are not to hold grudges or let ourselves become bitter over such situations. But we definetly are not required to automatically forgive. Does Jesus automatically forgive us without us acknowledging our sins? No, we are to ask for forgiveness and then He forgives. If one asks for forgiveness, we are required to forgive 70 x 7. If one asks for a sincere apology for an action, and the other decides not to apologize, what then? I think the relationship between the two would be broken.

My Inner Duggar

I love the Duggars. They are my favorite family ever. It amazes me that the mother is SO patient with all those kids and she never yells. I read her book in about a day and a half and it motivated me to be more patient and soft spoken. That lasted for about 2 hours. Then I was yelling and annoyed easily again. I also secretly want to wear long denim skirts and collared shirts and grow my hair out and get a perm. This is something I will never actually do, just one of my secret fantasies I have when I am feeding Jack his bottle at naptime and bedtime. Being the 19th Duggar, enjoying life without TV, cooking in their ridiculously large kitchen, and playing the violin. Their life really looks fake. Honestly, who could be happy with just that?! But they seem to be and I want a piece. So if you see me wearing a denim skirt dont be shocked. A perm might be following it...

Brookfield Zoo 2009

We went to the zoo yesterday with the boys and had such a fun time. We brought Anthony with the intention of showing him the dinosaur exhibit since he is very much into them at this time, he was terrified! He saw the "long neck" (if you watch land before time you will know what i'm referring to) and he turned around and started running saying "going home now, going home now" and not stopping. Too funny. Jack chilled in the stroller with his graham crackers and cheerios. I think he liked seeing the monkeys. They get busier and busier every day. I often wonder what it would be like to have girls instead. Are they this wild?!

sleeeeeeeeeppppp

why does jack keep waking up at 5 or 530 every day no matter what time we try to put him to bed at night? he is then exhausted by 730 or 8 in the morning and will proceed to take a 2-2 1/2 hour nap. i laid in bed with ear plugs in this morning listening to him yell and protest since i would not get him. when i did finally give in (after 40 minutes) he had leaked poop through his pajamas. then i felt like a white trash mom letting her child fester in his own feces. he then proceeded to bite my cheek with his gopher teeth in an attempt to punish me. i am now sitting with burning eyes after 4 hours of sleep, since i worked til midnight last night. they torture prisoners by depriving them of sleep. what about all the poor mothers out there?! no wonder we are all crazy and on edge.

First Time Blogger, Long Time Reader

So here I am blogging, to whom I am unsure. I guess it's a better way to pass my free time than cleaning or facebook. I am exhausted from being sleep deprived by Jack. I am definetly understanding a whole new meaning of patience. I figure I will try this blog thing for a bit and see if it sticks. Maybe I will develop a cult following of internet readers and become an international phenomanon.